Kisses from heaven, 3 poignant moments from last week
- Julia Stevens
- Jul 10, 2018
- 7 min read
So last week I didn't feel like writing. It was SOOOOOO .... HOT and I felt empty and wordless. I sat in my armchair by the window, looked out over the walled garden at Loseley and said to God ...
" What can I write about ... what is there to say ... ? "
I thought back on the things I needed to do as a writer. The 3 key tips that have fed my writing discipline.
1. Read as much as you can. Read good books not rubbish. Read. Read. Read.
2. Write every day. Keep a journal. Write about it all. Note it all down. Pay attention. Take notice. Keep writing. Refine the art of writing.
3. Live an interesting life. Have things to talk about.
And I sat uninspired and thought .... well I have been sticking to at least 2 out of my 3 points. I have read so many books this summer. I can't remember all of them and not all of them were good. But I have been reading. I have written nearly every day in my journal. I am good about writing.
But the thing I was struggling with was the third point. Living an interesting life.
I felt rather flat and deflated. Not very much going on at the moment. I could write another post about the summer but wasn't feeling inspired. I did remember that I have at least 6 very good dinner party stories to tell. The old dinner party stories come out when there is a quiet moment in conversation and someone says
But I am saving them for a time when I feel they are appropriate to tell.
So I left it there and thought I would skip my blog post for a week. But like a fresh wind it came to me on Sunday night ....
I was sitting in the walled garden at Loseley, it was around 8pm at the end of a stifling hot Sunday. The sun was just dipping behind the main house and the garden was just beginning to cool off after another scorching day. I was surrounded by a crowd of essentially older people. We were all seated on garden chairs, finishing off glasses of wine & surrounded by empty picnic hampers. It could have been just another picnic in the walled garden but there was no chatter. We were all sitting in a sweet sad silence.
You could hear a penny drop and the lady beside me and the lady behind me and myself were all wiping away tears from our eyes. And what was shocking was that we hadn't just watched a Shakespeare play but instead the whole crowd had been listening to a gentle gardener talking.
White dove on the wall at Loseley
I fought back the tears and looked over at a white dove resting on the wall. Something about those white doves is always a sign for me. A symbol of something special. So I decided to write about why I was fighting back the tears and the 2 other incidents this week that have been significant to me. I decided that I wanted to write about 3 little touches from heaven. Kisses - if you like. Little windows of glory. 3 poignant moments that came along through 3 completely different men. And it was no coincidence that is was through 3 men and not women. Something special that GOD KNOWS about my life ! The Lord works in mischievous ways. Always pay attention because I can guarantee you that He is always up to something.
* Gentleman Number One = Gareth Southgate
On Tuesday I sat down to watch England's World Cup football game against Columbia. Like the rest of the country I knew that this was going to be an important match. Possibly the most important match of the whole World Cup. There was so much to loose and no-one wanted to get their hopes up and then be proved a fool when everything came crashing down in another defeat.
And yet there was something different this time round. This time we were being led by a gentleman in a waistcoat who had lived through defeat himself. A man who was wise and steady and kind and seemed to hold his team together with a real sense of calm certain humility. The kind of man you would want for a friend, a father, a brother.
I am not a football fan as such, so I won't try and write about the game. All I will say is that we needed to reverse the curse of the penalty knock out and so despite it being the longest most nerve wracking thing to sit through the Colombia versus England game, victory was so much sweeter because it was so hard won and so nearly wasn't ours.
But this was the moment that brought tears. Not the victory shouts, but the comfort of a gentleman who had been there himself. Gareth Southgate comforting the Colombian players after they were defeated by his team. Empathy. What a beautiful trait in a human being.
Of course I want us to win the whole thing. I want us to bring it home. I want to keep feeling the exuberance of victory. But for me the whole 2018 World Cup Football Tournament was about this one moment in time. A gentleman in a waistcoat and the empathy of a fellow survivor of defeat. A calm trust worthy leader and a humble encourager.
Photo credit - THE SUN
* Gentleman Number Two = Reggie Dabbs
So in church this Sunday we had the full American gospel experience and it was exhilarating, uplifting and entertaining, even if the preacher did get his sermon a little bit wrong when it came to Biblical characters and names !
Photo Credit - Amazon
This sweet happy man managed to embrace the mood of a nation and harness the hope that is arising over us as a result of England's success in the World Cup despite the fact he is not from this country and has not watched any of the games except the one against Sweden.
Again, I am not going to go into details about the service, but just to explain why he also caused me to hold back a tear or two on Sunday and gave me a moment where I felt that little kiss from heaven. He focussed in on a young servant girl who had been abducted from her family and made to live and work for the enemy. And yet through it all she held on to her integrity and honoured her master.
Photo Credit - Hillsong Church Guildford
Reggie brought joy, hope and he came as a father (rather like Gareth Southgate in his smart waistcoat) and conveyed the gentle whisper of the Father saying " ... DON'T GIVE UP. IT'S COMING HOME. Your hope has been deferred for such a long time, since 1966 , but a longing fulfilled is coming your way. And it's bringing life with it. "
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12 The Bible
Which for me in my circumstances which have nothing to do with football, translated as ....
" Just believe Me. Obey Me. It's going to be alright, Trust Me. I have seen your situation."
* Gentleman Number Three = Giles Shenton as Herbert Pinnegar
And so to the one who set this blog post rolling ...
I never expected a monologue by a gardener to bring me to tears, but this man did. And he was so good at his art that he touched the heart of every person in the audience.
Photo credit - Yvonne Arnaud Theatre
The play was Old Herbaceous about the life of head gardener Herbert Pinnegar. A monologue that lasted an hour and a half. One man talking gently to the audience about his life. Whether the success of this play was down to a really good script writer or a really good actor, or just the beauty of Loseley at dusk on a summer evening. Whatever it was, the effect was magical.
As Giles talked, I was aware of a struggle going in the top of the tree behind Bernie's cottage between 2 very fat and heavy wood pigeons. I know those wood pigeons because I see them around the estate nearly every day. (Bernie is the actual head gardener at Loseley so the relevance of this play was much more real to me and Bernie, who was also watching, than possibly to any of the other listeners.)
I watched as 3 swallows started to flit around over the garden and the audience. These are my friends Rosie, Finnegan & Hamlet. As others listened to the play, vaguely aware of 3 swallows in the sky, I saw my downstair neighbours eating dinner.
And I smiled and thought ... I bet no-one else in this audience knows those 3 swallows by name. No-one but me and God. And that made me feel very special.
I sat there thinking ... this is my life. I have done nothing to deserve this. Bernie works so hard on this garden with his gardening team and I get to sit here and enjoy all his hard work. It is a picture of grace. I get this as a gift, not because I worked for it or deserve it.
I listened to Rosie, Hamlet and Finnegan chattering on the telephone wire. I listened to the actor convey his story. I looked at the white dove and the flower beds bursting with life.
And when Giles came to the end of his monologue and touched so poignantly on the subject of dementia, we were all in tears.
And my little piece of heaven that I took from that play was that God knows the details and the simple every day rhythms of life. And most of the time it isn't the loud, handsome, capable individuals that are the heroes but the everyday servants. The humble gardener. The empathetic manager. The quiet faithful servant girl.
And at the end of it all there is so much beauty going on in the little details of life. If we will only slow down and pay attention we would notice the GRACIOUS FATHER who is holding us in the palm of His hand and lavishing so much kindness upon us.
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