' Sir, More than kisses, letters mingle souls.' John Donne
When was the last time you wrote or received a handwritten letter ? A tangible letter with handwriting and not typed print.
I was rummaging through a suitcase of letters & old journals last night and was amazed at how much of my teenage life was spent writing letters and receiving them from friends. I can't believe how many hours were dedicated to communicating and documenting the details of our lives. If I wasn't seeing a friend face to face at school and they happened to live at a distance, my only solution would be to write and fill them in on the latest crush, party, incident at school.
It was 1987 and even making a phone call just to chat would be considered an unnecessary extravagance for a teenager, so we resorted to writing. And wow, how amazing to rediscover my 16 year old self through those diaries and letters.
I found about 5 pages of folded notebook paper tucked into one journal, it was covered in faded pencil and written from a friend who was attending Godalming 6th form College while I was at Guildford County School avidly describing her conversations with a certain attractive young man on the train. What fun to relive those days.
Laura Ashley was obviously having a big impact on my life and now over 30 years on and I think some of those fashions are experiencing a come back. Big swirling summer dresses in bright colours and pointed toe shoes.
My big crush was on Micheal Praed who played the role of Robin in the Robin Hood TV series.
I found this photo stuck to the inside on my memory box!
How entertaining to see the poems I wrote for him, dreaming that one day we would be together. I even contemplated dying my hair red to fit the part of Maid Marion. Oh the agony and the ecstasy of teenage hormones.
Ironically he finally showed up on my doorstep 3 years ago filming for ' The Crown.'
Strange how life plays these funny little tricks on us!
In my 1987 diary I also have pictures of an artist used in the Laura Ashley shoot.
30 years on and I think I may have finally met him. How weird is that!
The reason I was rummaging in my memory box was a desire to reread the stack of letters sent to me over the period of a few months from a love sick young man who I met on a summer church house party. I think they are my first love letters. Since we were so young and lived too far away to see each other, we wrote letters describing our lives. Not anything intimate as we were really just penpals.
His letters used to arrive in the same creamy yellow Basildon Bond envelopes and were always sealed at the back with these letters. S.W.A.L.K. ( Sealed with a loving kiss ) Mother was absolutely delighted whenever one showed up in the mail and would place it on my desk with a smile. I had to hide the growing stack of letters from her prying eyes.
Talking of my mother, what a pleasure it is to still have a few reminders of her handwriting. Handwriting and the art of calligraphy is slowly being lost as we resort to digital print. But I still open my Delhia Smith Cookbook when I want to remember my mother. She was very flamboyant and a big drama queen. This little rant scrawled in red reminds me so much of her! 'Don't eat it beforehand. Have a crisp instead. Don't ruin everybody's day.' She made a Pavlova for the Albury Produce show and didn't get the recognition she wanted!
During my year living in Namibia it was letters that were my lifeline, keeping me in touch with my friends at home in England. We had no way of staying in touch except writing.
I am overwhelmed at how many people used to write to me. People I had forgotten, so many school friends and potential boyfriends. I found this line in one of my letters written by someone who is now a very well respected local doctor ....
" Dearest Julia, Guilt ridden and deeply ashamed I've finally put pen to paper...
Well I've failed a couple of exams this term ( in fact don't pass the word around but I've failed all of them so far although 47% in Physiology was the closest to a pass. "
This is brilliant. I can't tell you what fun I have had rereading those letters. He went on to say ...
" Now that I've had a bit more time to reflect I think I wished I'd taken a proper year off. For one thing I would have been rich for a while if I worked for a couple of months. So I could have gone off exploring a couple of countries, had a good time and still come back with a profit. But once you start medicine you never really stop.
... the carol singing was a good laugh. I don't remember getting home but I don't think that's anything to be proud of . I apparently sang a Christmas Carol repetoire SOLO at the Willie the Forth but I think I raised more money so its all in a good cause. "
Considering we are still friends in our mid lives and still live in this same location it is amazing to have these detailed memories to fall back on.
Here are a few more snippets from other writers ....
"Thanks for the snakeskin. Please can you send a squashed Tarantula next time! " Tara
" Thank-you so much for your letter. It arrived on Feb 14th. This was the only bit of mail that arrived that day, so I will have to treat your letter as an admission of your undying love for me.
Richard just got a bank statement. But I believe it to be a secret code and it just needs deciphering.
I read a photocopy of one of your letters and was amazed at how anyone could write so much about a spider!" Adrian
My foray into my memory box reminded me how wonderful it was to be writing letters, to be pouring our lives out onto paper. To be mastering the written word. Sharing little moments of intimacy. Exploring politics and religion and love.
" Thanks for putting up with my clumsy feet and wild sense of direction and timing at the reel party!
Best wishes, Toby "
As John Donne so succinctly wrote
' Sir, More than kisses, letters mingle souls.' John Donne
( For more on John Donne click here to read my blog post on Matthew, Mark, Duke & John.)
John's quote poses the question, who was he writing to with such honesty and intent?
My teenage letters and journals have been a kiss from the past. There is no way I could remember much of the detail of my teenage years, but my journals and these letters have brought it all back and filled in the details. For example I remembered that there was a lion living on the heath but doubted this memory until I read this in my journal ...
5th May 1985 - "There's a lion. Real lion. Not joking living down the road from us. Apparently the man who owns it used to have two. A lion & lioness but the lion died. He was given them as a gift before he left India. We walked over to see it this afternoon. She lives in a cage like a tennis court."
My journals and letters confirm that I have always been a writer. Since I lived in so many different countries I had to keep in touch by letter. I have always relied heavily on the written word. There was no other way to do it but to write.
Rereading old letters, I realise I had so many more friends than I remembered. There was so much more going on than I remembered. Apparently my brother visited Sweden? I had completely forgotten that. A friend spent half a year in Japan and Australia. I had forgotten the details of that.
I was reminded that we all used to love going to see a great band named FAT & FRANTIC who released a single... 'I want to be the chairman of the National Trust.' Closely followed by the most excellent song titled 'Last night my wife hoovered my head!' Music was fun in the 80's. We didn't take ourselves too seriously. Fearing that I was taking myself too seriously while in Namibia a friend wrote me this ...
" I hope you haven't lost your sense of humour, do you remember the time you hid under the till at Gomshall Mill? Or when we stripped off in the sea and surprised that windsurfer ! " Hannah
I look at the way we can so quickly connect with the internet and it is a wonderful tool. I hope we don't lose too much because our digital files are now part of a massive universal library with our personal items sometimes left in places we have forgotten or can no longer access.
I hope that we don't let it steal the gift of handwritten journals and letters from us. The beauty of using real ink. The art of developing our own handwriting style.
Interestingly my adult writing is much more like my mothers. Flamboyant and generous. My teenage self was much more uptight!
In conclusion, another piece of writing from John Donne.
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthral me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.
John Donne - ' Batter my heart '
Now that one is surprisingly not a love letter but a prayer! But then aren't the two combined? Prayer and love.
But I will stop here. Maybe this is a thought for another blog post.